This is a new manner of doing things for me. Instead of diving head-first into the new year, I'm reflecting, reassessing and saying goodbye before I say hello.
So what does this actually mean? I'm considering what's important to me. It's been harder than I expected. After spending the last many years working on building a better life for myself and working on personal mastery, I found myself very lost at the end of last year. Lost and confused about what was next for me.
Is this what a crisis of faith looks like?
Let's break that down. I always assumed the term 'crisis of faith' was a lack of faith in spirituality. What I'm learning for me right now is that the crisis is not not in my faith in my spirituality but rather a lack of faith in myself. And realising this made me feel really sad. The realisation that I had gotten to my 40s not quite having faith in myself and what I had achieved, in my abilities; this made me sad.
Fortunately, I don't live in the sadness for too long. This isn't because of my effervescent nature (said with one raised eyebrow); it's because it's a practice. Allowing myself to feel my emotions is the greatest gift I've given myself. But as I accept and acknowledge my emotions, I also release them and allow myself to move forward. What do I want? Why do I work so hard on myself and my life? What drives me and what is my intention and goal in doing so? What is my why?
The answer to me was astounding. I want to be successful and have great financial abundance because of the peace, joy and freedom it brings me. How do I know that I will feel and achieve all of that? Because it's what I have now. I have peace, joy and freedom now and having experienced it, I want it to be my constant and I'd love to share this feeling with others. When I figure out how to do the sharing, I will.
For now, it's all the preparation with the actual action. I'm incorporating the a action into my life as I learn the new lessons. It's an organic practice that I will keep working on. I have all the time in the world. I trust that.
